nosdrinker:

is this a threat

nosdrinker:

is this a threat

drtanner-sfw:

thegestianpoet:

this is my favorite vine

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

itseasytoremember:

insert-awesome-title-here:

finalellipsis:

good morning, here’s your newspaper.
…and a little dance.

He’s so proud of himself.

“We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, i wonder who it’s from!”

itseasytoremember:

insert-awesome-title-here:

finalellipsis:

good morning, here’s your newspaper.

…and a little dance.

He’s so proud of himself.

“We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, i wonder who it’s from!”

tastefullyoffensive:

If Disney Princesses Were Actually Sloths by Jen Lewis

Previously: Nicolas Cage as Disney Princesses

It’s not a sundae. It’s a banana split.

scolipede:

richardsp8-jr:

givemeinternet:

a-pttttbbbblllththth a-ptttbbbblllththth

I never thought this sound would be represented in letters.

If you didn’t try to make this sound after seeing this gif, then you’re way too normal.

scolipede:

richardsp8-jr:

givemeinternet:

a-pttttbbbblllththth a-ptttbbbblllththth

I never thought this sound would be represented in letters.

If you didn’t try to make this sound after seeing this gif, then you’re way too normal.

quercusrubra:

Young Cas and Gabe (◡‿◡✿)

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.